Steamroller Survives!!! S.B.P.T’s Assault Fails.
8 More Dead...!
At first glance, The Shell didn’t appear too formidable. In fact, some of the
assailants went right past it, or asked neighbors where it actually was.
That was The
Shell’s strength. It looked too normal to contain the juggernaut within. As we
found our way inside, we were greeted with a handshake and a table full of
snacks. After meeting all the new combatants and sneaking one last piece of
bacon wrapped chicken, we found our way to the battlefield.
Table 1featured the Steamroller and The
Saw, and had all the early action (and the fan!!) as everyone kept feeling the
need to go all-in once every 3 hands. It seemed like the chips willed themselves
into the pot, and the players could only turn their cards over and watch their
fate be dealt.
Table 2 was
the opposite. With Sponge, Sandy, Slick, Bongpipe and no fan, caution was
heeded, and the players took care not to make many sudden moves. The break
allowed everyone to catch a cool breeze, and then dive into the finely cooked
roast beast.
After everyone wiped their brow and had
their fill of food, we settled down to wage the battle for the trophy. Table 1
continued it’s frenetic pace, and casualties mounted. Table 2 began to heat up
as players jockeyed for position and built their stacks. Sandy Cheeks caught a
straight on the river to capture a big pot from El Guapo’s 2 pair. The Snake
almost made an early exit, but the Sponge was unable to soak up the chips and
doubled him up.
About that time, the Steamroller began to
move and gain the momentum we were all trying to prevent. Luck was on his side,
as he caught hand after hand, and began to line up victims beneath his massive
drum. The Snake ended El Guapo’s night, and left me writing yet another frickin’
front page. If anyone would like to try their hand at this please do, I’m never
going to win a tournament, so I’ll be forced to write about 90% of these goddamn
things. 
They
WILL start to taper off, and be less interesting to read, but that’s what
happens when you have to keep writing them. It’s like Groundhog Day (sniffle,
sniffle…)
Meanwhile, back at the ranch…
After we trimmed the field
to 8, the final table took shape, and had The Saw and the Steamroller fighting
for the chip lead, and it took quite a few hands to start knocking players out.
There were a
few moments of greatness, as Meaty caught quad 8’s to fend off Sandy, and The
Steamroller crushed 2 on one hand after flopping a Queen high boat, flattening
Meaty and The Saw, along with her mound of chips with that monster hand. That
left Sandy and Fire Marshall to bring him down. Sandy fell before his massive
weight, and after a valiant fight with no chips, The Marshall too went up in
flames. We are all going to the hotbox, I mean The Shell again on the 15th.
Load your guns, dress light, and get ready for round 3. Don’t worry about me, I
won’t win, I’m already thinking of next months headline…
El Guapo