POKER-FU (poe-ker-foo)
Noun
1: A Chinese martial art in which sharp blows and raises are applied to pressure points on the body and to the chip stack of an opponent.
Poker-Fu was originally the result of one mans quest to stop drinking for a short period of time. After years of extensive training in the Drunken Master form, M.C. Ronnie, a Grandmaster from the Bottle of Alcohol Clan, found himself defenseless at the table. Unable to keep his opponents off balance, he was unable to deliver any punishment. Instead he took multiple blows, leaving him bloodied and confused.
While trying to gather himself over his bottle of now useless water and his dwindling chip stack, he let his mind flow back to the days of his training. Harnessing almost one third of his mental energy, he began to apply the principles he learned as a young disciple and formed a new hybrid: Poker-Fu.
The principles are simple:
1. Always play 7-2…….ALWAYS!!!!!
2. When playing 7-2, if you are lucky and flop your off-suit….GO ALL IN
3. Play as many hands as possible, if you sense hesitation in your opponent, raise at least 50 times the blind or bet. If you do not have enough chips for a 50 times bet, GO ALL IN
4. If you have the chip lead, always raise and severely over-bet the pot pre-flop.
5. If you get called after rule 4, see if you caught any part of the flop. Or, if you THINK you caught any part of it, or feel you will at some point in the hand…GO ALL IN
6. After going all in against someone, distract your opponent by yelling loudly, making fun of the fact that they called you, and reminding them that you ALWAYS WIN ON THE RIVER.
7. If you should fail to conquer your opponent, revert back to Rule 1 and start over.
These are the principles that guide our young Pokerka (poker student). Heed them well, for they spell your doom!!!!
The power of Off-Suit compels you!