Meaty’s Rainbow of Drinks Leads to Pot of SBPT Gold!!

  CLUNK…(sprinkle, sprinkle) CLUNK…(sprinkle, sprinkle)

   Pardon me as I knock the rust loose and try to remember how to construct a front page. It seems like months (8 in fact!) since I’ve had to write one.  This September was definitely one to remember. It had a little of everything to suit all players needs. We started off with a rare early start time, which was preceded by a pre-tourney cash game. There was S.B.P.T. officially banned chicken for dinner (chicken so large, it could only be the result of steroid abuse). So big in fact, that the “party wings” wouldn’t even come out of their bucket to mingle with the rest of the meal!

   It also featured some boat-on-boat action for those with a nautical fetish, and had our champion getting what at first appeared to be girl-drink-drunk, but was later discovered to be the largest drink in SBPT history.

    The drink, forever to be known as “The Skittle,” consists of no fewer than three different colors, and contains enough Vodka to make you feel like “Teddy KGB”. The optional straw (as seen in the pictures) makes it unisex, and can lead to vicious rumors of your preference as either being a pitcher or a catcher, unless drunk in rapid succession to demonstrate beyond refute, that it is indeed “The Skittle”. 

    The tourney began with a couple players missing, but once they showed, it settled into a normal game. Meaty took the early lead on table 1, and Slick appeared to have a grasp of table 2. The break came all too fast for those of us that arrived late, and we attempted to eat the mongoloid chicken that left Christopher in such awe, that we’ll probably have to run urine tests on him until he is of S.B.P.T. age.  

    The second stage had us back at it, and we quickly lost three players in 15 minutes, with the most improbable of hands being when Meaty’s A-8 boat came in on the river, and sank the battleship of El Cucaracha’s turned A-5 boat. That put Meaty in position to make a great run at the trophy, which he wouldn’t waste. 

   Table 2 had Slick battling hard for a shot at redemption after a string of disappointing defeats. As we whittled our way towards the final four, the newly rediscovered “Loser’s Lounge Cash Game” recommenced, and had El Cucaracha reclaiming all his tourney expenses. 

  The final four consisted of one happy to be there face (Cha-Cha), and 3 lets get on with it’s (Slick, Meaty, and Popeye).

 The four battled hard, and when the dust cleared, we had Slick and Meaty left going head to head, with Meaty having channeled the awesome power of “The Skittle” to hold a nice chip lead over the 10 time champion. It took one hand to settle things, when “The best hand in poker” prevailed as Meaty’s paired J-10 held out against the Suited K-Q of Slick.

    Congrats to all, as we had a great co-hosted tourney, (HUGE thanks to Sponge and Sandy for loaning the Casino de Paris) and fantastic job on the bathroom. It was truly an honor to urinate there.  Great job Meatious Maximus, We’ll see you and “The Skittle” next month for the Halloween Haunt. Remember to come in costume.

El Guaparacha